THE BEST SUNNY QUOTES

I present the best quotes of “It’s Always Sunny in Phildelphia” in order of their comedic genius. Please feel free to add your favorite to the comments:

#1) Mac: “Let me tell you something, Megan. I hate dead baby fetuses. I hate them, because they shouldn’t be. They should be alive, and they should be loved.” – Season 1, Episode 2

#2) Charlie: “That’s Tammy, Trey’s ex-girlfriend. This is classic Tammy. Trey broke up with Tammy because Maureen Kenallen said that she saw Tammy flirting with Walt Timby at a party, but she was only doing it to make Trey jealous because, you know, she thought that Trey secretly liked Erin Henebry, but Trey didn’t like Erin Henebry. It was all a bunch of bull.” Season 1, Episode 3

#3) Charlie: “Let me tell you a little lesson, buddy. The cream always rises to the top. And I’m about to show you the white, hot cream of an eighth-grade boy. – Season 3, Episode 15

#4) Charlie: ” Can we talk about the mail, please Mac? I’m dying to talk about the mail with you all day, OK? Pepe Silvia; this name keeps coming up over and over again. Every day, Pepe’s mail is getting sent back to me. Pepe Silvia. Pepe Silvia. I look at the mail, well this WHOLE BOX IS PEPE SILVIA!!! So I say to myself ‘I gotta find this guy, I gotta go up to his office, I gotta put his mail in the guy’s goddamn hands, otherwise he’s never gonna get it, it’s gonna keep coming back down here.’ So I go up to Pepe’s office and what do I find out, Mac, WHAT DO I FIND OUT???…. There is no Pepe Silvia. The man does not exist, OK? So I decided ‘Awww shit, buddy I gotta dig a little deeper.’ There’s no Pepe Silvia, you gotta be KIDDING ME! I got BOXES full of PEPE!” – Season 4

# 5) Charlie: “I’m crackin’ eggs of wisdom.” – Season 1, Episode 4

#6) Frank: “We’re the gruesome twosome!” – Season 5, Episode 9

#7) Charlie: “Oh look at me, the millionaire who goes to see doctors!” – Season 2, Episode 2

#8) Artemis: “Who am I? I’m just a small town girl, who moved to the big city with big dreams. Just to find out, the only way to make it in the big city, is to shake it. And that’s what I do, at the Coyote Ugly. End scene.” – Season 1, Episode 4

#9) Sweet Dee: “I’m ready, let me eat her babies!” –  Season 2, Episode 5

#10) Charlie: “I’m gonna rise up, I’m gonna to kick a little ass, I’m gonna to kick some ass in the U.S.A., gonna climb a mountain, gonna sew a flag, gonna fly on an eagle. I’m gonna kick some butt, I’m gonna drive a big truck, I’m gonna rule this world, I’m gonna kick some ass, I’m gonna rise up, I’m gonna kick a little ass. ROCK, FLAG and EAGLE!!” – Season 2

#11) Charlie: “Yes, my good man, I’ll have the milk steak, boiled over hard, and your finest jelly beans … raw.” – Season 5

#12) Dennis: “I don’t get it, Dee: There are tons of women in this city; where do they go?   Dee: They’re at velvet-rope clubs on Delaware Avenue.  Dennis: Why?  Dee: Dennis, our bar is in south Philly in a scary alley…might as well call it “Rape Bar.” – Season 1, Episode 4

#13) Dennis: “By the way you guys, can I just say as a side note, I am loving this can-wine thing, I think it’s brilliant. I mean I’m active, I’m gesturing with my hands, and I don’t feel restricted. If I was holding a wine glass right now I’d be spilling wine all over the god damn place.”  - Season 5, Episode 4

#14) Charlie: “Why don’t I strap on my job helmet and squeeze down into a job cannon and fire off into Jobland where jobs grow on little jobbies.” – Season 3, Episode 7