My Updated Spec Script

Hey all. I’ve been working incredibly hard to polish up my “It’s Always Sunny” Spec Script titled “The Gang Attempts to Bang.” Here is a preview of the Cold Open below and if you like please check out the entire script here TheGangAttemptsToBang. I would great appreciate all constructive comments good or bad. Thank you!

COLD OPEN
TITLE: 1:00 P.M.
TITLE: On a Saturday
TITLE: Philadelphia, PA

OVER TITLES WE HEAR
CHARLIE (V.O.)
How bout’ if I paint my penis black? You think that will make it look any bigger?
MAC (V.O.)
I think it could add the illusion of a little extra girth.

FADE IN:
EXT. STREETS OF PHILADELPHIA
Mac and Charlie walk towards Paddy’s Pub looking especially disheveled even by their low standards.
CHARLIE
It’s just that my penis isn’t living up to its full potential.
MAC
Dude, that’s because your penis reached it’s full potential at birth. You got to face the fact that you have a baby-dick.
CHARLIE
Oh, c’mon. I don’t have a baby dick.
MAC
We all know you have a micro-dick It’s no big …
Mac and Charlie stop walking as they notice something in the distance.
CHARLIE
What the hell is this?
Mac and Charlie begin to run up to Paddy’s Pub where they see three teenage THUGS spray painting the wall outside the bar.
MAC
Are those kids spray painting our bar?
They run over to the Thugs.
MAC (CONT’D)
Hey! What the hell do you think you’re doing?
THUG 1
What does it look like we’re doing?
CHARLIE
It looks like you are spray painting enormous male genitalia all over our bar.
MAC
(inspects the wall)
Yep, they’re dicks alright.
Thug 2 grabs Mac and pushes him against the wall.
THUG 2
Why don’t you and your raggedy-ass friend mind your business.
Charlie looks up and down the spray painted wall.
CHARLIE
Oh c’mon! A little originality wouldn’t hurt. Can’t you at least draw a rainbow around some of this penis art? It looks ridiculous.
The Thugs crowd around Charlie and menacingly stare at him. Mac grabs Charlie and leads him inside the bar.
MAC
This isn’t over!

INT. PADDY’S PUB – DAY
Dennis, head tilted back, is holding a baggie of ice on a fresh shiner. Dee works behind the bar.
MAC
What the hell happened to you?
DENNIS
They jumped me.
MAC
The penis painters?
Dennis nods his head.
MAC (CONT’D)
I’ve had it with these assholes! It’s the third time this month they vandalized this place.
CHARLIE
Yea, I’m sick and tired of trying to turn those spray painted dicks into happy faces.
DEE
Well I’m sick of having to look at the penis-nosed happy faces every time I walk into this dump.
DENNIS
You know, maybe we should start a gang of our own and show those street tuffs who really runs this block.
MAC
I’ve always wanted to gangbang.
DEE
Me too. I just never imagined my first gangbang would be with two losers and my brother.
MAC
Well, this is our chance to bang, and bang hard.
CHARLIE
Hmmm … our own gang.
MAC
Yes, our own gang.
DENNIS
It’s settled. We’re banging.
CUT TO:
MAIN TITLES
TITLE: IT’S ALWAYS SUNNY IN PHILADELPHIA
TITLE: THE GANG ATTEMPTS TO BANG

To Live and Die … err… Write in LA

Thanks for stopping by, or thanks for randomly typing “Glee Script” into Google. Either way, I hope you stick around for a minute or two. I haven’t haven’t posted in a little while, and, to be completely truthful, I was a victim of a completely random sea otter attack in Boca Raton, Florida. I was the kid shooting the otter attack video you can see right here. I’m kidding, but I think that is great material for a made-for-tv movie — a boy attacked by a rabid otter who then turns into a rabid otter himself: “Revenge of the Otter Man,” a Hallmark movie in the making.

Anyways, the the reason I am posting today is because I came across an interesting topic through an email from Script Magazine titled, “Living in LA, Submitting to Websites and Guest Thoughts” by Chad Gervich. Gervich, a writer/producer/master of all things Hollywood is adamant on his belief that you MUST, MUST (bolded for sheer effect) live in LA if you want to break into the Screen/Television writing profession. As he says in his article:

“The stories we hear of people who sell things via websites, contests, etc., are flukes; they’re not indicative of how Hollywood works… or, most likely, will ever work. And while we all love to hear inspirational stories, it’s not really an advisable way to LAUNCH A CAREER.”

So, the question is, do you agree with Mr. Gervich? Do you think you need to live in LA to have a shot at making it in the industry? Although most “foreigners” to LA would scoff at Mr. Gervich’s suggestion that you must live in LA to have a shot at making it, isn’t that the truth? We fight what we don’t want to hear because it is not easy to swallow. Most of us can’t pack our bags tomorrow with scripts in hand and head out to LA. It is just not a reality, so we fight the notion that it is impossible to break in from the outside. I think we should embrace what Mr. Gervich has to say, because if you twist it around he is actually saying, “bring your talents to LA, and you have a chance.” Unlike trying to make it to the NBA where you MUST be around 6’4″, have a the natural ability to jump like a kangaroo, and somehow beat out millions of other kids who have similar abilities, Mr. Gervich is saying that you, yes you, actually CAN make it if you come to LA. Not that you WILL make it, but you can. To me, that is encouraging.

Although LA is where it’s at, I do think Mr. Gervich is missing the “human” element which you can never keep out of a discussion like this. We enter internet competitions because the one person who DOES make it, going on to the dream career of a professional writer after winning a contest from their couch in Boise, Idaho. And, isn’t that what counts in the end? Just the slim chance that you will be the one? That’s what keeps “us” writing, keeps us pushing to finish the next script, keeps us up late even though there is “real” work early the next morning. Sure, you need to live in LA to have a real shot, but if nothing else, the internet competitions force us to write for the faint hope that you will be the one that hits the jackpot. And, in the end, its the joy of writing itself, not the actual competition, that brings many of us happiness, is it not?

That is why I have this website. The 1 in 1,000,000 shot that someone notices my script and offers me a shot. It might not happen, but that is what keeps me writing every day.

Please share your thoughts!

It’s Always Sunny Season 6 Premiere


New episode of Sunny premiered tonight and I think I can speak for most when in saying that this episode definitely jammed us up (in a good way). Although I prefer my humor without the political undertones, the dialogue in this episode was priceless as evidenced by this little gem given to us by Mac:

Mac: Why are you jamming me up, bro?
Gym Manager: I’m not trying to jam you up, I just don’t believe you.
Mac: What is not to believe? I’m absolutely Dennis Reynolds.
Gym Manager: This picture looks nothing like you.
Mac: Well, thank you, cause I’ve actually packed on about fifteen to twenty pounds of solid bulk muscle since that picture was taken. It’s actually a testament to your gym.

The “tranny” makes an appearance, and I think what makes Mac attraction to the the tranny so funny is that we can all see ourselves wanting to make sweet love to her in real life. The tranny might be the hottest character to grace the show, I really can’t think of anyone better. You can’t argue with this picture:

Some of my favorite bits in the premiere include:
1. Charlie and Frank trying to crack each other’s back. This had me rolling on the floor laughing.
2. Finding out that the boys created a “Lethal Weapon 5″ — let’s hope that sometime this season we come back to this — could be classic.
3. Dennis talking about how he has never had feelings since he’s been 14.
4. Dee gagging. I can’t help but crack up every time she does it.
5. The nuts from the alleyway.

Hope you all enjoyed and would love to hear whether you loved/hated or were indifferent to this episode. If you are interested, here is a a good link to see what Glenn Howerton aka “Dennis” picks as some of his favorite Sunny episodes. I like all of his picks, although “The Gang Hits the Road” was not one of my favorite. I would have to put “Mac and Dennis: Manhunters” in my top 5.

Scriptapalooza Winners

Hello all – I checked the website today and saw the Scriptapalooza Television writing competition winners were announced. I ended up being a Semifinalist for my It’s Always Sunny Spec “The Gang Starts a Gang”. Although it would have been sweet to finish in the top 3, it’s affirmation that I am going in the right direction.

The winners are listed here

Congrats to all winners, and everyone who tried out. It would be great if you would like to post your script for everyone to read and/or critique if you feel comfortable. I used the input of everyone who has posted on this site to re-craft my script time after time. It is undeniable that without the help of everyone who has given me notes, I would not be as far along as I am.

Cheers!

GLEE SCRIPT


Hello Friends,
I don’t watch Glee, I don’t really care for it, but due to the large amount of unsolicited requests for “Glee” scripts I thought I would do everyone a solid by posting one up here. Hope you enjoy, and if you can refer to my site in any way I would GREATLY appreciate it.

Thank you, and Godspeed

Official Glee Script

That Time of Year — WB Writers Workshop

It’s that time of year. Time to pour your dream of becoming a television writer into a nice tall, frothy glass and hope that someone drinks it. Let’s get an idea of what everyone is submitting this year. My guess is that there will be a lot of “Modern Family” scripts going around. Seems to be the “it” show. What will you be writing?

Here is the link to the WB Writers Workshop: http://writersworkshop.warnerbros.com/apply_now.php

Here is a good post from Amanda the Aspiring TV Writer on some tips about the Program.

Here is a link to the alumni of the program. Cool to check out how participants have went on to be successful television writers.

If anyone out there has been lucky enough to be part of the Workshop, it would be amazing if you could share your experience. Good luck to all!!

Milk Steak Recipe

Milk Steak

There has been much talk about what is now known to be Charlie's favorite dish: a nicely boiled milk steak (of course served with jellybeans, raw, on the side). If you are like me, then you want to know how you can make this delicious dish for yourself. For your culinary pleasure here is a nice recipe on how to prepare the perfect milk steak with a nice glass of zinfandel to wash it down. Make sure you get some hornet honey to dip your jelly beans in!

MILK STEAK RECIPE

Prep time 15 Min.
Cook time 20 Min.
Ready in 35 Min.
Servings 4

INGREDIENTS
* 4 (4 ounce) cube steaks
* 1/2 teaspoon salt, divided
* 1 3/4 teaspoons ground black pepper, divided
* 1 cup all-purpose flour
* 2 eggs, lightly beaten
* 1/4 cup lard
* 1 cup milk

DIRECTIONS
1. Season meat with 1/4 teaspoon of the salt and 1/4 teaspoon of the pepper; set aside. In a shallow dish, mix flour with 1 teaspoon of the pepper. Dredge each steak in flour. Dip in beaten egg, then dredge in flour again.
2. Heat lard in a large, heavy skillet over medium-high heat. Fry steaks 3 to 4 minutes on each side, or until golden brown. Drain on paper towels.
3. Pour off all but 2 tablespoons of the fat. Sprinkle 2 tablespoons of the dredging flour into oil. Cook over medium heat for 1 minute, scraping up any browned bits from the bottom of skillet. Gradually whisk in milk. Cook, stirring frequently, 3 to 4 minutes, or until thickened and bubbly. Add 1/4 teaspoon salt, and 1/4 to 1/2 teaspoons pepper; gravy should be quite peppery.

WHAT TO DRINK?

Zinfindel